Saying Goodbye (Death By a Thousand Cuts)
by pandorabox82
Summary: In the aftermath of the bank incident, the lines between the team have blurred and shifted into something that Penelope has trouble recognising. Will she ever be able to grow accustomed to this new normal? AU
1. Prologue

"Is everything all right, ma'am?" Penelope asked as she looked up at Strauss, seeing the serious, drawn, look on her face and the way she was worrying her lower lip between her teeth. Everything about her body language screamed that she wanted to drown the tension that she was under in the bottom of a bottle, and Penelope felt for the woman, knowing how hard it had to be to come back from rehab and have this be the first case. Reaching out, she touched Strauss's hand lightly, trying to get her attention, and finally, the woman tore her eyes away from the camera feed they had been watching to look into her eyes.

"Am I that obvious?" she whispered before licking her lips and taking a deep breath. "Of course I am, why would I even ask something so ridiculous. I've ignored calls from the Director, gone against what everything in the handbook says that I should do, and what have we gained? An agent's partner was shot, and we have no idea if he's dead or alive. Because of my decisions."

"Hey, stop that line of thought. You did not pull the trigger on that gun. You did not choose to hold up this bank. You are just trying to make the best of a bad situation. These unsubs, they're some of the worst that we've seen, because they're so chaotic. There's no good way to profile them, but at least you have Hotch heading things up. He's one of the most level-headed men I know."

Strauss nodded absently, her attention drawn to the monitor once more. "Where did the Queen of Hearts go?" she muttered as she tightened her hands around the back of Penelope's chair.

"I have no clue."

She turned her attention back to the monitors, trying to figure out what was going on, but all she seemed able to focus on was the remaining brother pacing around like a caged lion, ready to strike out at the next person who came into his path. It took a moment for her to register that her phone was ringing, and she pressed the button on her Bluetooth, hearing Reid's voice enter her ear before she put him on speaker. "…that just doesn't make sense. We know that there are only two ways in or out of the building, and we're covering them both. Unless…what are our team doing right now, Garcia?"

She cleared her throat as she searched the monitors for them. "It looks like they're getting ready to storm the building to try and rescue the hostages. Why?"

As she glanced between monitors, she saw that the accomplice was now headed for the back of the bank, and she frowned as her heart dropped into her stomach, knowing that Reid was about to tell her nothing good. Pushing away from the desk, she tried to ignore the slight gasp of pain that Strauss let out when she rolled over her toe as she started for the door. "Garcia, you need to get everyone away from the perimeter of the building. She's been trying to find the right place…"

"I got it," she said as she pushed past Strauss and Rossi to explode outside, screaming out, "The building has been rigged! Everyone needs to get away from the bank!" As the last words escaped her lips, she began to feel the percussive vibrations that spoke of a large explosion starting to occur, and she turned to face Rossi and Strauss, grasping for their arms as she tried to get back into the mobile command unit, knowing that that would be the safest place for them to be, that the blast would most likely be absorbed by the insulation of the rig.

As a plume of heat roiled over them, Penelope tripped and fell into the unit, feeling a rough edge cut into her leg as someone's body covered hers. Closing her eyes, she prayed for it all to stop, knowing that nothing good could have come from that moment in time. Her ears rang with a loud, piercing, tone, one she couldn't place, and Penelope struggled to cover them, to stop the noise, but found that her hands were not working like they should, that there was a heavy weight holding each one down around her hips, and she began to struggle. There was a deep feeling of claustrophobia that was settling into her bones, and she knew that she would start hyperventilating if she couldn't get up, and soon.

"Kitten, stop struggling, it's not safe yet," Rossi nearly shouted in her ear, and she nodded as she contorted her body to be closer to the sound, knowing that he was doing his best to protect her. Which meant that Strauss was on her other side, still not moving.

"Is, is Erin okay?" she asked, using her first name out of shock.

"I'm fine, Ms Garcia. My head just hurts." Penelope felt Erin shift a little, turning so that she could move closer to the two of them. As the ringing in her ears subsided, Penelope also began to stir, seeking out the comfort of Rossi's body, knowing that he was doing his best to protect them both. "David? Can you get up please? I think I cut myself, and I need…"

He slowly got to his feet before helping Penelope and Erin to their feet, and she reached down to find that she had indeed cut her leg from just below her knee to nearly her ankle. Glancing up at Erin, she found that her shirt sleeve was torn, a jagged tear marring the skin there. "Is anything broken, ladies?" Rossi asked as he took hold of Erin's arm gently, brushing his fingers against the cut. From the way that he looked at her, Penelope knew that they were much closer than anyone realized, and she also knew to keep that information to herself.

Taking a few ginger steps, she found that her leg was just cut, nothing was broken, and taking a deep breath, she turned to look at the bank, seeing heavy black smoke billowing from the wreckage. "Derek!" she screamed out, trying to search him out in the madness that was rapidly surrounding them. Glancing back at Rossi and Erin, she saw that they were still softly conversing, his hand cupping her face before he leaned in and kissed her softly. Giving them a small smile, she used their distraction to try and get closer to the scene. "Derek!"

Penelope was barely able to take four steps forward when a strong arm wrapped around her torso, pulling her back against a broad chest, and she fought to get away. "Penelope, stop fighting Davie. Please. You can't go in there, it's too dangerous, and I am not about to perhaps lose another member of one of my best teams. Please, don't leave my side."

The stark terror in Erin's voice took her aback and she nodded as she turned around to face them both once more. Tears were trembling on Erin's lashes, and somehow Penelope knew that she wouldn't let them fall, no matter how badly she wanted them to. Sighing a little, Penelope tried to catch her breath before letting her own sobs break from her lips, collapsing against Rossi as she tried to stop her mind and heart from racing to conclusions that she didn't want to face. The only thing she knew for certain was that their lives would never be the same again.


	2. Chapter 1

Penelope couldn't believe that three months had already passed since the bank incident, as she had come to think of it, and she and Derek were finally home from their assignment with Interpol. She had been surprised that Easter had even wanted to work with them after everything that had happened, but she had been grateful for the time away from the BAU, as it had allowed her time to heal and start to move on without being faced with constant reminders of the past. Still, it felt both odd and right to step out of the elevators and head into the bullpen only a few hours after their flight had landed.

Glancing around, she didn't see the familiar faces of her team, though Anderson did raise his hand and wave at them before lowering his head once more and she lifted her face to look into Derek's, feeling her brow furrow in confusion. "Are they still in Seattle? When Hotch texted me, he said that they'd be back by the time we arrived."

"Yes, well, someone didn't hold the elevators when asked," the man in question responded, and she turned to see him, taking in the small bits of grey hair that flecked his hair. That was new, and she frowned a little as she stepped closer to Derek, needing the comfort of his presence in that moment. "It is so good to see you back. Both of you."

"Yes, well, our assignment finally finished, man." Derek reached out his hand, and Hotch took firm hold of it, shaking a few times before they stepped back into their previous places. "Now, what is this I heard from Kevin? Strauss went with you to Seattle?"

"I did indeed, Agent Morgan. And we could have used your skills on this case." Erin glanced at Penelope, giving her a quick smile before touching Hotch's sleeve. "I'm going to run up to the briefing room and get everything set up. Unfortunately, we don't have time to settle before heading out once more."

Penelope's frown grew as she watched the woman stride up to the briefing room before looking back at Hotch. "When did that happen?" she asked.

"We needed another person out in the field, Garcia. And she offered to pull double duty."

"All right, that's good to know. I guess. Though it will take me a while to wrap my mind around that. And what can you tell me about the newb? I did some research on who she is, and like, I get that she's super smart, and a talented, and she and Reid have lectured together, because of course they have, but what's the dynamic between everyone? And most importantly, is she nice?"

Derek cleared his throat in order to get her attention, and Penelope felt the bottom drop out of her stomach as she locked eyes with him. "She, she's right behind me, isn't she?" she stage whispered, and both Hotch and Derek nodded in tandem. "This is only supposed to happen in movies and books. Not in real life," she hissed, giving Derek a tight look before plastering what she hoped was a friendly smile on her face before spinning around to face the woman.

She looked nothing like her pictures, as if the camera couldn't capture the core essence that made her who she was, and Penelope felt her smile falter a little. There was a cross look on her face, and she listened to Blake lecture her on the original meaning of the word nice, most of the semantics of the conversation going over her head as she tried to think about a way to gracefully extricate herself from this hellish conversation.

To Penelope's surprise, it was Erin who came to her rescue. "I'm ready for you all in the briefing room. Since we're on a time crunch and all." Penelope nodded in relief as she turned and scurried up the stairs and into the briefing room, going to take her spot by the screen in order to work the remote. "Don't worry, unlike some of the others, I know how to use the remote," the older woman commented, gesturing for Penelope to take the seat that Hotch normally occupied. The others filed in, and she noticed that Erin and Blake exchanged an odd look before the woman took a seat next to Reid. "All right, let's get this over with as quickly as possible, as I know that we want to be home for at least one night this week."

Erin went through the case, and Penelope shivered when she saw what the unsub had done to the guard, how brutal the thought of having her lips sewn shut while she was still alive, and Erin surreptitiously rubbed her shoulder before refocusing on the presentation, leading the preliminary theories that the team had. "All right, team, wheels' up in fifteen," Hotch said as he got to his feet. Derek followed after him, and Penelope had to scurry to keep up with him, though she didn't fail to notice that Blake stayed behind with Rossi and Erin.

"Does it feel to you like we've been dropped in the middle of a Twilight Zone? I mean, what is going on here?" she said as they went over to her office, and she quickly tapped in her passcode and let them inside.

"I don't know, Baby Girl. We didn't exactly keep in close contact with the team while we were working with Easter, after all."

"It was a five hour time difference, Der."

"That, too. I'll see what I can discover while on the case, but seeing as how this is such a bad one, I don't know if there will be much that I can report back to you. See what you can find out here, Anderson has always been a font of information, after all."

"There is that. All right, leave your luggage here, I'll bring it back to my apartment tonight and do our laundry while you're gone. Stay safe in Texas, and hopefully we'll know more about the changes here when you get back." He nodded as he bent down to kiss her softly, and she sighed against his lips, wrapping her arm around his waist in order to hold him close as long as possible, not knowing how long he'd be gone. "And maybe, when you're back, we should go talk to Strauss about the change in our relationship. I don't want to get in trouble, after all."

"Baby Girl, you were made to be the best sort of trouble," Derek murmured against her lips, pinching her bum softly before kissing her one more time. "But you do have a point about getting official approval of this, since I don't want to rock the boat where Strauss is concerned. I know that she thanked me for changing her life for the better, but she is still our boss."

"Precisely. Now get out to the airfield, and text me everything that you think is relevant to what's happening with the team while you're on the case. Even the littlest detail might clue us in on these changes." He gave her a small nod before hugging her tightly, kissing the side of her head before leaving her office, and she took a seat behind her systems, booting them up while she took a look at the list of searches that she had to do before the team contacted her while in the air. There was a lot to get done, and she knew that she had to get moving so that she could call JJ as soon as possible, wanting to get her perspective on things here.


	3. Chapter 2

It took until the team had broken for lunch for Penelope to find a moment to reach out to JJ. It had been so odd to get calls from Erin asking for search results, and she had tried to keep her language a little more polite than the first time she had interacted with the woman over the phone. And the one time that she talked to Blake, she was reminded once more of just how much she missed Emily. Blinking back tears, she shook her head and pulled out her personal phone, pressing JJ's number and putting her on speaker while she got up and went over to her sofa, collapsing on it in exhaustion as jetlag began to crash down on her brain.

"Hey! Are you still in London, or have you made it back home yet?"

It was so good to hear her friend's voice, and Penelope let out little sigh as she tried to come up with the right words to say to her friend. "We got home about five hours ago, and Derek is already out on a case. But he's out there with the newb and Strauss, and you're nowhere to be seen. God, if you had been here this morning, maybe I wouldn't have fucked up that first introduction to Doctor Blake quite as badly as I did."

"What happened?"

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she stared up at the ceiling. "I was totally acting like I was jealous of her. And…truthfully? I am. She's brilliant, Jayje, like, Reid levels of brilliant, and that intimidates me. Because if there's someone like her on the team, is there really a need for me?"

JJ let out a soft chuckle, and Penelope could imagine her shaking her head at those words. "I think you know that that is the furthest thing from the truth, Penelope. You just really, really, really hate change. More so than Henry does."

Penelope felt her eyes prickle with tears at the mention of JJ's son. "How is my little guy doing? I hope that you've taken my advice and had playdates with Jack, even though they're a few years apart. I mean, they are members of a rather exclusive club."

"Jessica has been really great at bringing Jack over, yes. And the boys love playing soccer together."

That news was exactly what she wanted to hear, since that was something that she could use in order to convince JJ that she was needed back at the BAU, that she couldn't hide away from the world any longer, even though she might want to never see them in a professional capacity ever again. "Jess has always seemed like a really sweet woman, and she's been a great help to Hotch, as he's gotten used to being a single parent."

"Yeah, that's what she's been telling me. But why do you care about that?"

"Because I want you back! I have to deal with the newb and Strauss, and that's just a bridge too far. I know that it's been hard for you to get used to Will being gone, but we're your family, too, and we need you here. Please, can you work something out with Jessica and take Strauss's place on the team?"

There was a long pause before JJ answered her question. "I tried while you and Derek were in London. But everything felt wrong, and Strauss recognized that in me. She said that I could take as much compassionate leave as I needed, that she would work it out with the Director. After all, having your husband murdered by an international criminal lends a little more leeway to these things."

"I highly doubt that she said it like that, Jayje."

"No, she was very kind and understanding, more so than I thought she might be. But pretty words do not heal a soul left so deeply wounded. If it had just been Will that died that day, I think that it would be so very easy to come back, just like Hotch did. But when you add in Emily's death, so soon on the heels of her return, well, I feel like I failed them both."

Penelope began to openly cry at those words, feeling the pain behind them deep in her heart. "I miss her, too, JJ. Easter was so nice to us while we liaised with Interpol, but I could tell that he was struggling, too. As soon as we saw the bank explode, I knew that nothing good was going to happen to us. We've been so lucky so far, escaping the cruel hand of Death, that we were due for something like that to happen. But I just can't handle losing you, too, even though you're still alive. You're not here, and Strauss is, and everything just feels so wrong."

"I know, Garcia. But I'm asking, please can you just give me a little while longer before I come back? My heart really needs time to heal well so that when I come back, it's not too soon. I remember what happened to Elle, how she pushed herself to rejoin the team, even though she should have waited another month or two before coming back to desk duty. I don't want to take out my grief on unsubs, I don't want to become a vigilante that takes justice into her own hands. Where would that leave Henry? And I know, you and Spence are his godparents, and that you'd raise him well, but he would always know that his mother abandoned him. I can't make my child a virtual orphan."

Penelope sighed before rubbing her hand over her face, wiping away the tears that were still rolling down her cheeks. "Can I say that I understand that viewpoint while at the same time disagreeing heartily? Because that's where I am right now. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. And hey, take this little nugget of information for what it's worth – Spence really likes having Strauss on the team. She reins in a little of the more maverick tendencies that Rossi and Blake can have at times, and that usually leads to some rather heated discussions in the field, which in turn leads to some very interesting stories that I get the privilege of hearing when he comes home."

She frowned as she sat up, hearing her computer ping with the results of one of the searches she was running. "I'm sorry, when did Reid move in with you?" she asked as she went over to the monitors and began to write a text to Derek on her work phone, letting him know what she had found as she waited for JJ to answer her question.

"It's not so much that he's moved in here, it's that he's helped me look after Henry when it gets to be a bit much. And he was close to Emily, too, you know. Not that you and Derek weren't, that's not what I'm trying to imply here, but the two of you fled to England as soon as Easter offered you the assignment with Interpol, which meant that I was naturally the one he would bond with. And while my heart is still shattered from losing Will, there is something so comforting about having a close friend walk beside you through the journey that grief takes you down."

"Yeah. I guess." She paused for a moment. "Do you mind if I come over tonight? I really need to see your face."

"That would be nice, PG. And I suppose that you'll be bringing presents from England?"

"Uh, hell yeah, I will be. There was just too much stuff that I saw that caught my eye for Henry and you. Oh, and the others, too, but mostly Henry." JJ laughed a little and that sound caused her to smile in return. "So, I'll be by around six? I can't stay long, since I really need a nap, like yesterday, but I need to hug you more than I need sleep."

"Six will be fine, and you could even crash in the guest room, if you get overtired. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Definitely, sugar. See you soon." Penelope ended the call and felt her smile falter a little. So much had changed for them in the space of three months, and even though she would be seeing her friend soon, she knew that as long as JJ wasn't in the BAU, things wouldn't feel right.


	4. Chapter 3

"You said that?" JJ blurted out before taking another sip of wine. Penelope nodded as she blushed deeply, feeling even worse about how her first interaction had gone with Blake now that she could look back on it after a whole day of work. "And how did she react?"

"She verbally eviscerated me, as was well within her right. I was being super nosy, after all. And I was feeling less than secure about the fact that you weren't there and Strauss was leading the briefing and it all just combined to become a perfect storm of suckitude. God, I am never going to be able to look her in the eye ever again! She must think I am a complete idiot."

JJ reached out and patted her knee encouragingly. "I'm certain it's not as bad as all that, Penelope. Though I do know that she can hold onto a grudge like nobody's business. That was something that Spence filled me in on, during the first case with both Strauss and Blake in the field together. I guess there was a very loud fight the first night out there, and it took both Hotch and Rossi to separate them. There's been a bit of a détente ever since that fight, but it kind of makes me wonder what history is there, you know? And since you seem to be closer to Strauss than any of us, besides Rossi, you have to ferret out what the history is, all right?"

"I can try and see what I can get out of him, yeah. Though I'm super hesitant to rock the boat right now, since everything is so up in the air regarding Blake. We've just returned from London, and I'm off on the wrong foot with her. Ugh, I'm going to have to apologise when they return, aren't I?" She slumped down on the sofa, twirling her wine glass around in her hand as she stared into the dark liquid.

"You probably should, yes, just to keep the peace. I know that it's hard for you to do, but…"

"Until I get you back on the team, I need to keep a good relationship with everyone. I just, ugh, why did I open my mouth and insert my foot so deeply?"

JJ gave her a look as she sipped from her wine glass. "Do you really want my answer to that?" She nodded. "You've already said it, PG. You are notoriously bad at change, and these last few months have been nothing but change, and so you're walking on the edge of a knife, and that's bound to take its toll on you. You were bound to make a gaffe of some sort eventually. In this case, it just happened to come out around the wrong person. But hey, at least you didn't ask her to talk dirty to you," JJ teased, giving her a broad wink before taking another drink of wine.

She groaned before burying her face into her free hand. "Dammit, why must you always bring that up? You know that I thought it was Derek! And besides, Strauss wasn't too upset by it, I didn't receive an official reprimand, after all."

"You can tell yourself that, but you weren't there to see her face. She was livid. Though I don't think that the way we all treated her out there helped, either. Morgan told me that when she accidentally stepped on one of the last victim's hair, she nearly broke down. I knew that everything had just come to a head in that moment, and maybe we drove her to it? I don't know. Ever since the bank incident, she's been a different person, and while I can't see myself being friends with her outside of work, I have the feeling that she has our backs?"

"I totally got that feeling just after the explosion as well. She was very concerned about me just running into the debris to try and find everyone. I guess that it's just odd to see your boss as human, after she's been in her ivory tower for so long." Penelope drank the rest of her wine before refilling her glass and settling back into couch. "So, in happier news that I can actually tell you since you're on leave and won't slip up, but…Derek and I are a couple. We made things official when we were in London, since we both decided that life was too short to dance around our feelings forever."

A wide grin spread across JJ's face as she refilled her own glass before leaning in close to Penelope. "So, what's it like?"

"Incredible," she managed to squeak out, feeling her face become hot with embarrassment. "Like, Kevin is really hairy, so sometimes it felt like I was sleeping with a rather large teddy bear? But Der, he's just sculpted perfection. I sometimes wonder what he can see in a person like me, you know?"

"Penelope, I wish that you wouldn't put yourself down like that. You're gorgeous, with a smile that lights up any room you use it in. And if he likes you enough to be your partner, well, I think that he must like everything about you." JJ stroked her arm lightly before giving her a saucy wink. "And if I was someone who liked women, I would most definitely be attracted to you. Strauss, too, but you didn't hear that from me."

"Is that the wine talking?" she asked, giving JJ's shoulder a little push as she waggled her eyebrows. JJ nodded before taking another sip. "Well, I'll take that secret to the grave with me, then. Now, tell me, what's it like with Spencer?"

"We're not sleeping together yet, Garcia. There hasn't been enough time for me to heal from losing Will the way I did. But he's been so good with Henry, that I can't help but see us sometime in the future having a child together. Hopefully a little girl. I guess that this is my time to be romantic, huh?"

"You are entitled to feel whatever way you feel, Jayje. I just wish that we had been able to figure out what that woman was doing before things got as bad as they did. If I had been better…"

"You did everything you possibly could, Penelope." JJ wrapped her free hand around her knee, squeezing affectionately before letting out a long breath. "Everything about that situation was a clusterfuck. If Will and his partner hadn't been so close to the bank, they both might still be alive. If crisis negotiation had been home rather than overseas, we wouldn't have been there. For the want of a nail, the empire was lost."

JJ pursed her lips together, taking a few deep breaths through her nose to calm herself, and Penelope covered her hand with her own as she nodded. "I know, that still doesn't clear the guilt from my heart, though? I loved Emily, and taking care of Sergio will be a very painful reminder of her loss, but we keep moving forward, despite that. Right?"

"Right." JJ gave her a quick little smile before taking a drink and then looking at the fireplace. "It's just that moving forward can be so difficult. And I promise, with time, I'll return to the BAU, and we can kick ass together once more. Brains and the Beast." Penelope giggled a little at that before scooting closer to her friend and starting to prod her for more details about what life with Spencer was like, knowing that the topic would be certain to lift the slightly maudlin mood that had started to descend upon the room.


	5. Chapter 4

Penelope took a deep breath as she adjusted her headband before straightening her shoulders and making her way out of her office. The team had returned just a few minutes ago, and she had peeked out to see if Blake was going to stay behind. She had been psyching herself up to try and make amends for her thoughtless behavior, and she wanted to make certain that she would be able to speak her mind. She was able to hear Strauss tell them all to go home and have one night in their beds, and Derek had glanced up at her office at that, giving her a small wink, and she nodded. Once they had all scattered, Penelope frowned a little to see Strauss conference with Blake for a moment, the exchange obviously charged, but not angry.

"This is going to kill my chance of trying to start over," she muttered as she picked up the Union Jack coffee tumbler that she had decided to give to Blake as a peace offering. "Here goes nothing." Shaking her hips a little to fluff out her skirt before heading down to Alex's side. She stopped just inside her line of sight and waited for Blake to address her, not wanting to upset her by just barging into her personal time. It was an awkward few seconds before the woman glanced up at her, and Penelope tried not to fidget in the meantime.

"Can I help you?" she asked a bit shortly, and Penelope blanched a little as she nodded. "Well?"

"Do you think that we could start over? Please?"

Blake gave her a long suffering look before waving her hand in her general direction. "Sure."

"Hi. My name is Penelope, and I do not do change well at all. I know that you stepped into this team after we had just experienced two major losses, and I've been on foreign assignment, and it just…I've been trying to keep it together and not be like this, but I let my mouth get ahead of my heart a few days ago, and left a rather poor impression of myself on you. I mean, that is who I am, when I'm being petty and defensive and insecure, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. And I know, I'm rambling, but I just feel so bad for what transpired, and here." She thrust out the tumbler to the woman, seeing her shocked look that she quickly controlled as she took it from Penelope's hand.

"What's this?"

"I bought something for everyone on the team when I was in London. It's what I do, I like to give. And when I was doing my background research on you, I saw that you live in the District, which is a horrible commute on the best of days. I'm assuming you like coffee?"

"I love coffee, actually. And anything else that helps keep me wired." Penelope's brow furrowed a little, and Blake chuckled a little as she shook her head. "Not what you're thinking, I meant like soda or tea."

"Oh! Okay. We'll actually be having a tea of the month club starting up soon, since I thought that would be a good way to bond everyone. That's when I assumed that Jayje was going to be back by the time our assignment was over, because she loves tea almost as much as I do. But if you like tea, too, well, I suppose that that means we can use it to bond as well. Maybe?"

Blake went to reply when Strauss came up to their sides, wearing her coat and a grim look on her face. "Is everything all right here?" she asked, looking between the two of them as if trying to make certain that they weren't going to get into a fight. Blake drew in a long breath as she leaned back in her chair and rolled the tumbler between her hands as she looked at Erin balefully. "Well, Alex?"

"Everything is going swimmingly, Erin. Shouldn't you be headed home now?"

There was a slight pause before Strauss cleared her throat, and Penelope felt like the air was crackling with tension. Her eyes darted between the two of them, trying to figure out what the dynamic there was. Strauss raised an eyebrow at her when Penelope finally caught her glance, and she shrugged a little as she waited for her boss to answer. "That is the plan, I just have to run a file up to Agent Hotchner before I do. Have a good evening, ladies."

And then, before anyone else could say anything, Strauss took off for the stairs, and Penelope frowned a little as she looked at Blake. "Is everything all right there? I know that Chief Strauss can be a bit of a hardass, but she really has been changing for the better lately. The bank incident was definitely a catalyst for change."

"I'll try to keep that in mind, Penelope," Blake replied as she stood up from her desk and packed away a few of the folders on her desk into her briefcase. "I'll see you tomorrow, and we'll try to get things right from good morning."

Penelope nodded dumbly as she stepped away from the desk, watching as Blake picked up the tumbler and began to make her way out of the bullpen. Shaking her head a little, Penelope went up to her office, knowing that she needed to get her things together so that she could meet Derek at her apartment. As she was tapping in her passcode, movement caught her attention, and she tried not to stare as Strauss hurriedly made her way out to the elevators as well, stepping into the car with Alex before the doors closed.

"I must have fallen into some sort of bizarre alternate universe," she muttered as she opened the door and went over to her desk, picking up her purse before shutting her systems down for the night. With that done, she turned off the lights and then climbed down the stairs, passing by Anderson's desk and giving him a small smile. "You're burning the midnight oil tonight."

"I'm working on something for the Red Cell team, and since I'm suddenly single again, I thought that I'd just work through the night and deliver the information in the morning before crashing on someone's couch tomorrow?"

"If you're asking to take a nap in my office, then yes, that should be fine. Just knock before you come in, okay?" He nodded, and she gave him a small smile before making her way into the hall. Her phone began to ring as she pressed the down button, and she pulled it out of her purse to answer. "Hey, Hot Stuff, what's up?"

"When are you leaving? I stopped by home to let Clooney out, so I'm still about twenty-five minutes away from your apartment."

"We should get there together, then. I'm just waiting for the elevator and then I'll be on my way. I cannot wait to be in your arms once again. It was a distressing case."

"It really was, Baby Girl. I'll see you soon?"

"With proverbial bells on." She ended the call as she stepped onto the elevator, her concerns about Strauss and Blake pushed to the backburner as she thought about the night ahead.


	6. Chapter 5

Penelope woke up feeling deliciously refreshed. Derek's arm was a heavy weight around her waist, and she smiled as she turned to give him a soft morning kiss. Glancing over his shoulder at her clock, she saw there was still quite some time before their alarm went off. Knowing that she couldn't in good conscience wake him up, Penelope gave him another kiss before slipping out of bed and choosing an outfit for the day before heading into the bathroom and taking a quick shower before dressing and having a quick bowl of cereal.

Peeking her head into her bedroom, she saw that Derek was still sleeping, and she bent down to kiss his forehead softly. "I'm going to head in early, Der, so just meet me at work. Hopefully, I'll be able to catch Blake before we go into a briefing today. I still think that there's more for me to say." He stirred a little in his sleep, but didn't wake, and she smiled as she left the room and then made her way down to her vehicle. The drive in was uneventful, and Penelope found herself singing along to the radio the entire way, using the music to calm herself down.

By the time she was stepping out of the elevator, Penelope was feeling slightly better about everything from the previous evening, but there were still questions swirling around in her mind about what was going on between Strauss and Blake. Her first instinct when she entered the bullpen was to look towards Blake's desk, noticing that she hadn't appeared yet, and she frowned a little, almost running into Rossi when he stepped out of the break room, a full cup of coffee in his hands. "Whoa there, Kitten. Are you still waking up?" he teased as he reached out with his free hand to steady her.

"I actually woke up early, and since Derek was still…" Her cheeks burned bright red as she clamped her lips shut, mentally kicking herself for revealing such a detail about her life to the man. He chuckled a little as he splayed his hand out on her back, guiding her up the stairs and into his office, closing the door behind them.

"So, I take it that this is a new development between the two of you?" he asked as he pulled her down onto the sofa next to him. She gave him a small nod as she tried to think about what she would tell him, knowing that he would prod and pry for answers from her. "London was very good to you, then."

"Something had to be," she said sadly, suddenly thinking about Emily and how they should have been visiting her in London. "I'm sorry, I just seem to take one step forward, two steps back, some days. I really fucking miss her, Dave."

"I do, too, Kitten," he replied as he reached out and rubbed her shoulder softly. "Sometimes we get dealt a really rough hand in life, and then have to find a way forward, even though that can be so very painful. But I am glad that something good came out of the pain for you. You deserve to be happy."

"And so do you. I mean, you and Strauss are still a couple, yes?" She watched his face carefully, wanting to see if he was going to give her any clues in his expression. His face was a mask, though, as he gave her a small shrug, revealing nothing. "Oh come on, Rossi! You can't play innocent here! That morning, before everything went to hell, I saw her coming out of the hotel. And she most definitely had that never went to sleep look on her face. And I know that she doesn't smoke stogies and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol in almost a year, so she wasn't there for that event."

"Dammit, I really need to take better care to make certain my private life stays private." She let out a little laugh as she shrugged. "Fine, we had spent the night together, and it was nice to reconnect."

"And are you still reconnecting?" she asked, trying to sound smarmy and cute at the same time. He chuckled as he shook his head, a proud grin on his face. "That tells me nothing, Dave!"

"Erin and I have an understanding which leads to many incidents of reconnecting when we're not on a case."

She nodded before taking a deep breath, knowing that her next question might upset him a little. "And what about her and Blake? I feel like there's a weird sort of history there between them, and I'm not certain about the vibes that I'm picking up off them."

The smile on Rossi's lips tightened just the tiniest bit, telling her that she had hit a nerve, and she tried to look innocent while he cleared his throat. "Are you asking as a way to get intel on Blake or to defend Erin?"

"Maybe both? You know that we've been gone for almost three months, and the dynamic in the team has changed so much. I need to be caught up on the history so that I can interact well with everyone. So, what can you tell me about everything I've missed?"

He relaxed a little before sipping at his coffee. "Well, I'm certain that you've noticed that Erin and Blake tend to orbit around each other." She nodded. "They used to be close friends. Very close friends. But there was something that happened years ago that ended that friendship rather abruptly, and Erin has been trying to find a way to make amends ever since. It was difficult with Blake being relocated across the country in order to repair her reputation, but now that she's back with us, there's a more concerted effort on Erin's part to make everything right once more."

"Oh. Well. That has to be awkward, since they're sharing a hotel room in the field."

"Believe me, I heard many a tense discussion about that fact. Though they seem to have worked out an understanding." There was something about the way that he said those words the told Penelope there was something he wasn't saying, but she knew that he wouldn't tell her anything more. "Though things seem to have started to even out between them, and while they aren't friends, they're friendly. I think of them like Derek and Aaron were, back when I first started on the team. There's that grudging respect, but they're not going to go out for dinner together willingly."

"I suppose that you have a point, there, Rossi. And I'll try to be kinder to Blake from here on out. I just hope that she can really get over that little misstep I made when we first met."

"Erin got a great laugh out of that, Kitten. It seems that you are exceptionally great at saying precisely the wrong thing at the right time when it comes to our team." She began to blush as she shook her head. "It's adorable, truly it is, and while I don't know Blake all that well yet, I think that you'll be able to work through things, eventually. She might just make you work for it, though."

"I suppose that you have a point. And I should probably get to work now, since I know that there are probably some searches that I should get caught up on, especially being this early. Thanks for helping me to catch up." Leaning forward, she hugged him quickly before popping to her feet and heading to her office, intent on talking things over with Derek, certain that there was more at play than what Rossi had told her.


End file.
